Trust in me

This feels wrong.

It doesn't seem like its the right statement from the same book as mine

I didn't know there was a "Me" within myself

I trusted in what I could see, what I was told, and what made others happy

Safety was in connection with the outside

Recognition of people was from their traits, feelings, actions and reactions

There was no "Me" - simply processing ...

Belief systems, cultures and adamant strong people told me what was right

Kind and soft told me the secret to life, but these were silenced by general society

The forests and the oceans let me hear myself

The sunrises and wind on my cheek told me there was an aliveness in life which I wasn't told of

Heart break wasn't my final destruction, but a door

The weighted boots of "should", "must do", "duty" and "this is the way it is" closed my eyes

My body lost its river of life, it became damned up and all was manifest in my mind

Trust became organization, structure, routine, familiarity and achievement

Trust was belonging to one of these institutions be it community, religion, business or travellers

Trust and safety blended

The open road allowed me to extend my own hands, to walk on my own feet, to decide

In reality, how many of us get this chance .. to extend our hands, our feet and our minds where the world doesn't push back?

I did, and I am blessed and cursed .. as is life

I trusted my desire to move and explore

I trusted my confidence to push push push through all difficulties

I trusted myself to get creative, to change people's minds, to fit in and to become invisible when necessary

I trusted myself to dissolve in the happiness and joy of my child and my children

I trusted myself to dare to believe to have what I want

I trusted myself to meet my ancestors, my birth mom and my tribe of other people looking for their own trust

I have always sought out "the truth"

In essence, I have always sought out someone else's idea of what to trust

In history, philosophy, music, religions, creativity, art, culture and expression

Even in my passing years, what is true, what is trust in this changing body

I express myself as an expression or definition of trust

My trust is different from your trust, it can neither be sought or found

Trust is connection to me.

Trust is..

WHAT IS...

FOR me....

NOW

and my acceptance of this

Trust is my response in thought, sound, movement, gratitude to this new awareness

Imagine if I saw the outside world as I described not as soothsayers and preachers

Imagine if I saw this world as my daily truth

Imagine if I didn't compute or analyze what is right and wrong but I embraced it

Imagine if I embraced this world in order to feel within myself what is true at this moment for me

Imagine the gratitude expressed knowing the outside world is constantly asking me to reveal

the truth within myself

Imagine if the outside world was a mirror for me to become aware of my trust in me at this moment

Never stopping, never ending, never stagnant, never successful or with failure

Imagine all I know, all I have experienced, all I have expressed in emotion, in words, in movement and skill

Imagine all this contributed and continues to contribute to discovering

The Trust in Me

This feels right.

until... it doesn't .. such is trust