I'm angry.
There is no other way to say it, filled with energy in my body - my mind wanting to attach to anything it can hurl a rock at. Just yesterday I wrote the article "I am THAT" in a very different space. One of Presence and focus and concentration and opening and today - as life would present itself - another story but connected theme.
The US elections are today and Donald Trump sits poised to win. My friend sent me a picture of the polls and I wrote him back in quick quid pro quo -
"The world wants avoidance and growth at any cost and lack of connection to people and to the planet. What can I say -sounds true?"
Then I wrote a minute later in a growing sense of anger and energy coming out:
"Dictatorship coming to the United States people just want to be lead they don’t want to think"
These are not the statements of the USA but wholly mine - completely mine and within it lies exactly the road to salvation, the road I spoke about, the news and incident which is not a detour or a setback - but the Way.
Let's take a look at the statement and break it down like my engineering - failure root cause analysis background has taught me. And just for the fun of it lets insert "I" into the "Other."
I want growth or avoidance at any cost.
I am not currently connected to people or the planet
There is no other truth, than mine.
I want to be led (and know what to do, prosper and be happy) and not have to think(engage).
My Aunt Helen first introduced me to the idea that every moment was marvelous - and I will just give her the trademark or her famous saying Marvelous®. Marvelous® meant that either I am sitting in the best place on the planet enjoying life the way I like to enjoy it OR I have an opportunity to grow, to see the obstacle in front of me as a gauntlet being laid, a universal provocation, a pot of gold at the end of the proverbial rainbow. One way or another - I am being asked to not detour but to stand firm and collect myself, gain awareness and determine what are my next steps to connecting with this unwanted visitor.
The apostle James writes in 1:2-4 - "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
Similarly, in Buddhism - it begins with the first Noble Truth - All life is suffering (duhkha). Recognizing suffering is the first step toward finding freedom from it. Rather than evading or suppressing pain, Buddhism teaches to confront it openly, recognizing that suffering has causes and that liberation is possible.
And so on - I could find innumerable quotes from diffferent traditions all pointing to my detours and asking me to stop rather than just be REdirected. Just as a matter of interest - I do enjoy quoting from Christianity and Buddhism at the same time because I feel Jesus was the best example of showing us the personal heart that can grow into the farthest reaches of Gods love for us and Buddhism is a wonderful tapestry of skill when it comes to describing the mind and its ever complex playgound. Both sides, ultimately want to go beyond the mind - but approach it in different manners.
And in David Whyte's Sweet Darkness the last lines linger toward a life worth living - "Anything or anyone that does not bring you alive is too small for you"
It's taken me years to really catch on to this statement - "Everything is an opportunity." Today, I think I get it. Its hard to see what is in front of me when I am so fixated on what I want. Happy marriage, good school for kids, pleasant relationships, good and productive conflict management or debate, physical contact, fun and spontaneity and of course - if your a fan - good popcorn and toppings. In this way, when Life presents me with an alternate reality to the alignment I am looking for - I tend to look for a way "around" it. Did you hear that - it just flowed so naturally - I look for "a way around it" a DETOUR.
My mind is so quick it simply and automatically at this point sees whatever is blocking me and labels it "obstacle." Rather than considering it as part of the journey and my main road I travel. My statements above reflect my thinking, my projection and also my ambition. When I see the "Other," I have seperated myself from the whole picture.
Below I offer the prayers I might make on my knees at night with the moonlight shining in - speaking in pure transparency but not knowing what I am really asking for. It is the ritual of the Detour to what IS in life. To what presents itself as the here and now. I mean no disrespect below to God or tradition - but wish to convey how my blindness and fixation on my own needs leaves little room to include other possibilities.
I want growth or avoidance at any cost.
Dear Lord, keep me safe, show me the road that I know and can travel and benefit from. Give me comfort and opportunity so I and my family can thrive and be happy and connect with what makes us happy.
I am not currently connected to people or the planet
Dear Lord, please put the right people, the right opportunities the right nature, the right discussions in front of me. Allow me to see these people, events and environment come into my life and soothe and please me.
There is no other truth, than mine.
Dear Lord, I am committed and bound to you, I love you and have taken your Word and TRUTH as my own - what I think, I know is what you THINK for we are ONE and you act through me. Please continue to reinforce this divineness to me.
I want to be led (and know what to do, prosper and be happy) and not have to think(engage).
Dear Lord, I pray for direction to happiness, I pray for my comfort, I pray for my control in life and safety. Please show me the way, place my hands on what is right, lead me to the light so my may bow down and do whatever it is you are asking in order for me to fulfill my happiness.
These are my shadows and I take responsibility for them. I see myself as the Joker, as the Trickster, as the Fool when it comes to stopping and looking at the Way that is blocking/presenting my opportunity. There is one important measure here I would like to add and it just arrived in the my Heavenly inbox. If I am too focused on my own journey and needs - I become Individualistic, searching for ways, means and solutions agreeable to my success thus leaving out the needs of others. If I am too collective, as one who looks to take care of every issue, every scraped knee, every call to justice - then I can lose myself in the needs and wants of everyone as a man trapped in quicksand becoming one with the environment both literally and metaphorically dead.
Calling out my uniqueness so late in the article is a difficult thing to do. Without rhyme, reason or convincing testimonies - I must delcare - I believe everyone to be unique, to shine as a specific "Suchness" as a one-of-a-kind "Divinity." I have looked at people with such awe and wonder for just who they are, how they act, their mannerisms, their emotions, their physicality .. I believe us all to be works of Art and this includes myself too. Therefore, (my engineeing transition) being unique and keeping the unique is a tough act in this world of each Other. It's so easy and incredibly comforting to be like someone else or to feel cared for anonymously in a community. I believe I am a spark who has my own unique way of seeing, being, acting and expressing myself and because of this - I must , and I stress MUST ... continue down my road, keep my direction and find my inner fulfillment in my walk.
To do this, I must firstly, know my direction and goal and secondly keep driving, walking, sailing, training, flying, inching toward it. No DETOURS. My success of who I AM, as I exist, to express "My Wonder" TO the world and FOR the world is precisely as I have Marvelously® and effortlessly wrote just now. Let me repeat.
TO the world as I AM
and
FOR the world (no DETOURS - only inclusion) as YOU ARE
Michael A. Singer, writer, spiritual knower and pragmatic doer - author of several books including "The Untethered Soul" has left me with some simple advice in the last few years I keep coming back to. In one of his podcasts, he talks about life being described as myself on a boat sailing toward my goal. He says the only thing I can control is keeping my eye on where I am going and responding the best way I know how to whatever the ocean throws at me. There is no chance of controlling the waves or weather or mishaps of the boat; however, THIS IS THE WAY, to continually keep my eye and direction on where I am headed and do the best I can with what comes up over and over again - NO DETOURS.
Sounds True - Michael A. Singer