And all of sudden, I am aware - from the sleep of the night or of my life
Breathing, feeling, cognisnat of where I am
Eyes shut, blankets drawn, the light inside me is dawning
Clear emptiness.
Beit 3 am on a foggy morning or sitting on a bench as Life finally stills me
My mind starts to play like an old projector and I can hear the whirring of the film tape
It starts playing and playing and looking insdie its boxes of and cupboards
Like a child in a new playroom - curious - touching everything, delighting, moving
It is me.
The decision is me and from me yet not about me
My whole world revolves as the movie feeding me, infitnite vistas, endless conversations
Whether it be in my mind or in everyday life - it is the same ...running running running
I awake this mornign and realize - who I am are these movies
Except now I see and feel and breath - they are not.
You might say I have a choice or see it - but this is not true
The difference on this day is crystal clear
What I am is not a choice - the choice is always in my mind and this is beyond
They are not me - those thoughts, those movies, those vistas, those conversations
Like a sitting Zen student against the wall who one day stops the Master from hitting him
His idea of having to be hit to find Peace finally dawns on him as ridiculous
There is just me. Lying in a bed
All is fine. The change is not so different - and yet it is.
Nothing needed or wanted.
I am an observer and somehow at the same time I am part of the show
I stand from my bed doing my daily exercises - "I deserve it" / "I want to live" and ...
Who is this "I" and what is this "it"?
There is me. That's it. It's really quite simple.
Its nothing to find or calculate or discern ..this is the mind.
There is me.
Time to get up and start my day....